Where I am at.

The last couple of days saw that the flooring got completed, there is a new sofa-bed-futon that is a reasonable place to sleep in case of any visitors; but apart from that, there are clothes in the washing machine that have been there ready to be put to dry for the past 4 days - I know it is pathetic to do this and then almost worse to put it up here! The way to reach the bathroom is by jumping over furniture, the way to reach the bed is by jumping over furniture, the way to enter the TV room or the study is, you guessed it, by jumping over some furniture.

The downstairs is another story, the fridge is full of food that needs to be tested for whether they have turned into a petri-dish or not. C doesn't use a plate but a lot of his tongue, so the new flooring sticky food all over it.

But on the whole I am in a really really happy place. It might be because I am mad, but i think not. i heard someone tell me once that when our goals and our purpose are not aligned then we will probably be one of those people who having achieved their goals but will die with regrets on our death bed. In case of the apartment, in case of my life, i am gaining a clearer vision of purpose, the purpose of the spaces I inhabit and the purpose of parts of my life, the kind of growth I want guiding the things I choose to do.

I moved the fancy jarrah sofa to the balcony, and sitting there did smell of doggie piss last night - but you see, I sat there. that is what was so good. i have space and comfortable furniture and I am using it. I will probably add a small table next to the chair, and I might cover the sofa to protect it from the rain - or not, who knows. I will most definitely flush C's toilet out better as well for next time.

The living room is empty, but looking at it makes me VERY happy. and in summers, i like to sit on the floor. I can imagine art going up the way I have always wanted to and instead of trying to match the art to the sofa, the sofa will have to match the art.

In defence of the living room - I always try to leave spaces in the apartment empty, and it is similar to how i was trying to write the shortest thesis possible. what you want is, to stick with the essentials, not use up words or space. (my thesis turned out to be just the usual length, but when I had started writing it, I had thought I wouldn't have enough to fill up space.)

I like the new sofa-bed-futon in the guest room. I really really REALLY like it. I think I will just move the study downstairs, there is no room in the guest room for my study, and I need to be getting on with my journalism and my bhagvad gita course.

I have plans regarding the rest of the rooms as well, and I feel like I am making a space to suit my life, rather than have a life that suits my apartment. I am gaining an appreciation that my friends will enjoy my space better this way because it will be authentic and beautiful to me and hence at least authentic to them and with a happier, more comfortable host. The dinner parties won't look like what it does at their places, but if they matter, they won't care. 

Anxiety

I notice that the last time I posted was in July, end of July to be fair, but it is still more than 4 months ago. Time has flown past in these four months, because initially I was planning on tidying the place enough that it would be puppy-proof; and then I had my parents visiting.

My parents and my puppy, all turned out to be the most considerate and non-judgemental kind of people to share my life with, and for whom I didn't really need to prepare the place. But I suffered from a lot of anxiety, none the less. I still do. I am not really an anxious kind of a person but when day after day, living your life feels like walking thru treacle, it causes anxiety.

I struggle when changing the sheets isn't just a matter of stripping off the old sheets and putting on the new ones! It is a tie between a memory test, creative thinking as well as visualisation; as much of digging under the piles of bags of things without a home as it is about finding the right pocket with all the bits put together... When tidying the balcony isn't just a matter of watering the plants and a quick sweep and mop; but a matter of removing temporary tiles - wondering if I want to sell them or if I am happy to just give them away - removing temporary tarp that has finally given up on doing a reasonable job of dealing with a puppy. a typically good natured puppy who has had bouts of vomiting and diarrhoea. and balcony is one of the easier bits! the carpet in the living room is chewed to bits but I had given up on the carpet ages ago anyway! I suspect it smells of dog piss occasionally but since my dog behaves differently while I am around than when I not; it is not a problem I know how to solve!

everything, in fact, is just that little bit harder and so I give up on them, and sit on the lovely dog bed and play with my dog. who isn't anxious, who loves being taken into my lap as I bring him down from the car-boot and his gentle insistence that it has to a be pick-me-up-in-your-lap thing; who cant believe his luck when breakfast arrives - his simple enthusiasm is infectious - who is simply thrilled that things are easy and comfortable and he is loved - and has no reason to think that anything will change for the worse.   

 

The long list - update

It is nearly the end of winters* as it is only two days to August and it brings to mind a self imposed deadline that I have been chasing - that of having a cosy clean home for winters. It seems like I have lost that race, but it sure made the days go past quick. I'm thinking about the last time I lived in a properly organised home (it was years and years ago) - everything had a place and everything was in its place!

 

For most part of my life I have lived in a properly organised home, not very cluttered, clean inside and out and a messy desk or bed to just balance it out that little bit. It would take about half hour to take it to hotel-looking cleanliness; and I got properly balanced meals to boot! Home, as it should be, was a launching pad** and not an energy sink^!

 

But now as winter is beginning to end, I have another, self imposed, deadline to chase - the race to get everything organised before Coffee arrives!

 

So, lets get the lists going:

Living Area

1, Shelving in the kitchen - OUTSOURCED

2, Book shelf in the living room - OUTSOURCED

3, Tidy up the baking and occassional use dishes shelf! - DIY

4, Not on top of the list: Update dining table and curtains (for curtains, see picture below!) - DIY

5, Not on top of the list, but expected to happen really soon: new TV system - FRIENDS!

6, To be done right after 1 and 2, ledge for artwork -DIY/Friends?

7, Electrician needs to put new power points - OUTSOURCED

8, Buy handles for cabinets - DIY

9, Buy some kind of step stool - DIY

 

What has already been done:

1, New appliances and cupboards have gone in

2, Pantry is satisfactory now

3, New dinner set is out

4, Old and doubles removed!
5, Created some kind of a flow, so that moving around the apartment is not impossible!

 

Balcony - DIY, all of it!

1, Clean concrete floor - maybe I need to buy a pressure cleaner

2, Seal it

3, Tile it - materials bought

4, Put the bench on

5, Buy Coffee's Potty

6, Not on the top of the list: Organise the plants

7, Put the light there.

What has already been done:

1, The body corporate have replaced the balustrades and roof slats

 

Powder Room/Laundry

1, Fix the vacuum cleaner and maybe move it out of the powder room?-  DIY

2, Tidy up - use up Ikea shopping materials to update the rest of the house - DIY

3, Replace mirror and paint the walls. - DIY??

What has already been done:

1, Some amount of decluttering

2, Opening up the wall to create a laundry

3, Moving the washing machine

 

The area under the stairs

1, Tidy up - will happen once the book shelves are put in place! - DIY

What has already been done:

1, Removed rubbish bins from here and put them where they should be - in the kitchen

 

The upstairs is more in state of disrepair

 

Bedroom

1, Tidy up

2, Put art up

3, New power points - eventually to put the bed side lights on

What has already been done

1, The light fitting has been changed

 

Bathroom

1, Demolish

2, Retile

3, New Basin and Bathtub and curtain

4, New heating light

5, New exhaust

6, Declutter - I am drowning in the amount of toiletries I own

What has already been done

1, Washing machine has already moved downstairs

2, Dryer disposed of!

 

Study

1, Declutter the shelving - I expect that to happen once the book shelves are up in the living room

2, Put Coffee's food and toys in this room

3, Declutter my clothes - oh my god! so many clothes!!

4, Get Annette to please return my money for the mirror!

What has already been done:

1, Shelving put in place!

 

Guest room (This room has turned into a dumping ground!)

1, Go thru boxes and find a spot for everything! Some of it is expected to happen once the storage in the living room is completed!)

2, Use this room

What has already been done:

1, Got rid of the white cupboard

2, Got the sofa downstairs

 

On the wish list, for the moment

1, Light fittings

2, Painting the apartment

 

*famous last words!

**how immensely grateful I am to my family for that!

^that my married home felt like
'I've just added 'Lists' as one of the labels, in case you might want to peruse my love of lists.

Updates

There are 3 kinds of progress that we can see in nature:

like a breeze blowing away the smoke that surrounds a fire
like cleaning a mirror
like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly inside a cacoon (or a baby inside a mother's womb)

The first one is where the smallest of efforts show such instant results; the second where it seems like the effort and outcomes are rather proportional; and the third, where for the longest time, nothing seems to be happening, and yet all your energy is getting used up - but slowly and surely things are changing in a dramatic way.  

Since the apartment is nothing like the first, and perhaps not even the second - I'd like to think that it is, at least, the third. (In fact, since my life seems nothing like the first or the second, I'd like to think it is, at least, the third! Sigh!)

The point of this update, really is, that there are no updates - money spent, energy spent and nothing much to show for it yet, at least not in terms of enjoying the space I am in. In fact, in lots of ways, it feels worse!

Stairs, and then some!

Stairs win the final round!

Having magically managed to lug (or find other people to lug) the sofa and the shelving and the centre tables and the dining table and so on and on, up the stairs and another sofa and another heavy table and another lot of old appliances down the stairs - the French contemporary mirror turns out to be the final straw! 

Faced with yet another headache about asking favours from busy and preoccupied friends, I have now decided that if I cannot take it up the stairs myself, I can live without it. Trusting that comedy is tragedy + time, I expect this will sound hilarious in a couple of thousand years! Ha!

Lights

I went to IKEA yesterday and bought a whole lot of things, including some beautiful light-fixtures. I'm trying to make up my mind about how to arrange them around the place, and end up writing the following.


I got three of these (IKEA Krusning pendant lights) ; one large and two small: these were the cheapest and yet, my favourites. I am rather sure that the large one will be the centre light for the bedroom; and I am wondering about the other two.

Option 1: Put them as bed side lights (picture below) on both sides of the bed;
Option 2: Put one of them in the entrance and the other on top of the sink

 

 

The other lights that I got were two of these (IKEA PS 2014):

 

 

Option 1: Put these as bed side lights while the Krusning are at the centre, which would mix it up a bit;

Option 2: Put these in the guest room, where people can have a bit of an option about how much light they want.

 

Then I picked up two Kappa lights

 

 

Option 1: On top of the dining table

Option 2: Hanging from top of the stairs

Option 3: Bed side lights in the bedroom

 

I also picked up a single Klor (tho, I can always pick up another one, if need be) and there are two things that stand out to me about the Klor

firstly, it doesn't have any visual weight (and hence having it next to a large window would make sense, because it wouldn't block any light from there)  

and secondly, I've read on the internet that it has a narrow range of light, and I particularly like that because I don't like any light shining in my eyes (or more like glaring in my eyes)

 



 

So because of both these reasons, I would like to
Option 1:put it on top of the dining table - see the food clearly and each other in a very soft light;
Option 2:put it on top of the stairs, so that only the stairs light up and not all the bed rooms around it!

 

I have from my previous buys got this light already and I am thinking it will stay where I always wanted it to go, in the kitchen.

 

 

The centre light in the living room, I'm hoping will be a simple close to the ceiling light and give a feel of these kinds:

 

 

Though, wouldn't this last one be a dream:

 



The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Talking about home, as I do on this blog, there are things in and about it for which I often find myself sending a silent prayer of thanks (or more like, they make my heart smile :), and some that when I think about it, I wonder about how I take them for granted! On the flip side, there are things in and about the apartment that I really really wish were there, but they aren't; and some that if I were to think about I believe would be awesome to come home to.

 

So here goes,

Firstly, things for which I thank the universe:

1. The birds chirping and the sunrise I get to see EVERY MORNING before I am even properly awake;
2. The sunshine and the fresh air, my apartment is North-East facing and if there is any light in the sky, I get some of it; also the genius who designed it made windows in such a way that there is no stale air around the place;
3. The double brick insulation (makes a HUGE difference);
4. The quiet and my peaceful kind neighbours;
5. My wonderful Philips light alarm - it was pricey and I had to get from the USA, but I love it beyond words. The fact that I don't have to go to bed in the dark and I don't have to wake up in the dark, and the sound alarm is also birds going nuts, basically it is simply incredible.
6. My dishwasher, Bosch and quiet :)
7. Bed heating - my bed heating is sometimes that thing that makes home, home. It has a particular feel to it, like it is just that size where I can easily sleep on it, but I can also put my feet on the cold part of the bed, if I want. So, it is perfectly sized for me.
8. Audio-books on my phone (I get them from audible) - do you like someone telling you a story as you go to bed? oh I do!! and Kindle does this incredible thing where you can read/listen to the book at the same time, absolute genius, who thinks of such amazing stuff!?! (Whoever you are, Thank You! and can you make the library on kindle a bit better? I really liked my old kindle library and I miss it! Also, does the new kindle do audio books?)
9. Bamix - oh the maker of comfort foods!! Soups, Mousse, Cold whipped coffee, tomato blended with chilly - to make any kind of sauce!
10. Phone - of course, how else would I talk to Mum while cooking and cleaning or just admiring the view while sitting in bed!

and then these are some of my most useful things, but I have come to take them for granted:

11. My washing machine, again Bosch but definitely not quiet.
12. My fridge/freezer - with canberra being as cold as it these days, I am definitely taking this one for granted

 

Thirdly, there are some things that I wish for in my apartment, often with a deep sad sigh! 

1. Heating for the bathroom - sigh, there is none;
2. Exhaust for the bathroom - loud and ineffective! thank goodness i am not too stinky;
3. This is the worst - the taps around the apartment that need an iron hand to stop dripping!
4. The hot-water system that doesn't seem to work - it runs out of water JUST before my hair is completely free of conditioner suds, I promise!
5. The complete lack of power-points, and the crisscross of extension chords all over the place!
6. No spot for bins - a bit embarrassing;
7. The ugly nude bulbs, everywhere!
8. The annoying doors that are self closing - everywhere - including bottom of the steps, try bringing in groceries, you idiotic designer! I do a mental calculation on how to move things when I shop them.
9. The bedroom doesn't look like it is mine! No spot to put the books, no art to stare at first thing in the morning, last thing at night!
10. No art in the bathroom - I really want the da-Vinci Vitruvian Man there (not just because, well, nude-handsome-man-with-a-mix-of-science-and-art-from-Italy-from-about-600-years-ago; not just because it is perhaps a self portrait of Leonardo Da Vince who was gay and vegetarian and illegitimate and Leonardo da Vinci, and by L-d-V, I mean one-of-the-most-talented-person-on-the-face-of-this-earth, like even 600 years later, is-he-for-real; but also because it makes me wonder what it means to have a meaningful life? Who is our life meaningful for? Just the kind of thoughts I would like to be thinking as I brush my teeth and start my day.    
11. A cat? sometimes I really really really wish I could bring home a cat, and call it Summer, maybe... now that Coffee is coming home, I wish there was a Summer too!

 

There are other things that I think about when I am thinking deep thoughts about my apartment, like,

1. Putting up my art
2. Having a sound-insulated spot to play a violin (badly and repetitively, in my case)
3. Properly placed book-shelf

4. The non-existent outside area that I am sure will creep to the top of the list very quickly once Coffee gets here or summer does!

 

So, if you are reading this, what's your list of the good, the bad, and the ugly?

PS, this post is inspired by another post on Apartment Therapy